Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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