Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
