Having a random hookup so left but love u
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
