we're chasing vodka with high fives
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize