either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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