So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
