Texts From Last Night

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars

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  (615): one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars http://tfl.nu/tq7c
  Replies (14) Good night (1092) Bad night (3170)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.

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  (407): Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid. http://tfl.nu/hg5d
  Replies (20) Good night (834) Bad night (4840)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY

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  (864): she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY http://tfl.nu/d7k6
  Replies (20) Good night (6398) Bad night (866)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with

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  (410): She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with http://tfl.nu/po8c
  Replies (24) Good night (7200) Bad night (2225)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group

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  (250): It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group http://tfl.nu/b8ix
  Replies (4) Good night (904) Bad night (2124)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.

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  (559): Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on. http://tfl.nu/nei9
  Replies (7) Good night (1079) Bad night (1633)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.

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  (615): Please high five our old drug dealer for me please. http://tfl.nu/fpo5
  Replies (2) Good night (1741) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE

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  (919): she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE http://tfl.nu/jqwa
  Replies (18) Good night (4301) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.

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  (770): You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine. (770): I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon. http://tfl.nu/cq2b
  Replies (0) Good night (1320) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk

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  (908): if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk http://tfl.nu/13sw
  Replies (2) Good night (958) Bad night (415)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister

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  (605): You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister http://tfl.nu/xlrp
  Replies (13) Good night (768) Bad night (1803)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me

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  (678): I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me http://tfl.nu/qbi9
  Replies (4) Good night (707) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!

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  (330): It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink! http://tfl.nu/ur99
  Replies (2) Good night (370) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry

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  (920): This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry http://tfl.nu/0lhr
  Replies (0) Good night (264) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls

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  (713): He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls http://tfl.nu/kpep
  Replies (1) Good night (246) Bad night (216)

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