im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES