Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.

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  (480): I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is. http://tfl.nu/0bg6
  Replies (13) Good night (2283) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.

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  (772): I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring. http://tfl.nu/9i68
  Replies (10) Good night (2220) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Why are you ignoring all of my texts?

  (1-765): View more from Indiana

  The power was out.

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  (765): Why are you ignoring all of my texts? (1-765): The power was out. http://tfl.nu/9x7x
  Replies (17) Good night (1227) Bad night (4138)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?

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  (802): Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever? http://tfl.nu/bljl
  Replies (88) Good night (5637) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.

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  (601): they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell. http://tfl.nu/6mr7
  Replies (53) Good night (7941) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.

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  (512): Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise. http://tfl.nu/xhgo
  Replies (13) Good night (5391) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?

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  (510): just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right? http://tfl.nu/dlby
  Replies (57) Good night (4141) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.

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  (614): Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child. http://tfl.nu/h3yl
  Replies (22) Good night (3497) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.

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  (480): I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts. http://tfl.nu/t2zp
  Replies (32) Good night (823) Bad night (7953)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.

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  (416): Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements. http://tfl.nu/qg9u
  Replies (9) Good night (4926) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?

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  (620): Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night? http://tfl.nu/n9fn
  Replies (35) Good night (1501) Bad night (6689)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney

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  (224): you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney http://tfl.nu/cyaf
  Replies (3) Good night (3613) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.

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  (228): I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me. http://tfl.nu/ndpv
  Replies (6) Good night (2387) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.

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  (415): just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid. http://tfl.nu/grub
  Replies (9) Good night (2657) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.

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  (229): Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone. http://tfl.nu/eg8m
  Replies (1) Good night (987) Bad night (355)

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