Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina