i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.