You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
