I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
