Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
