its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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