he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
