If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So much Jack, so little girl.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
