as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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