Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
