Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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