She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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