It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
