who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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