my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
