I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
