Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
third nipple confirmed
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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