you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?