somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
