this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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