Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
