At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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