Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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