Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
