Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
