there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
