So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
