when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
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