she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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