let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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