The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I wanna passion pit in your ass
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
