Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
