I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
