it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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