she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
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just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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