Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
