Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
