Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
