um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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