1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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