so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
