he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
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