Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
