Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
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Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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