Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize