I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
