He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize