Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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