she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
