Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
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He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
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hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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