is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.