The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
