How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize