No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
