so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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