he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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